Boundary setting is a game-changer for women who want to master their sovereignty, sacred self, and inner peace. Yet why is setting healthier boundaries often so tough, and met with so much inner resistance? This solo episode is for you if you desire the space and latitude to walk your path in alignment with who you really are. Dr. Laura first talks about why many of us are so deeply habituated and programmed into the idea that boundaries are negative and isolating, and why this couldn’t be further from the truth. She then gives 5 quick tips on boundary setting, plus one bonus strategy.
What You’ll Hear In This Episode:
- Why is there a range of subtle to stubborn resistance to create boundaries that ultimately support our own rise?
- In creating a boundary, a focused conversation needs to happen together in tandem with aligned action.
- How are women treated differently than men in society when setting boundaries?
- We can lift others up by showing that we have our own boundaries, and it mirrors to others that they can feel free to do the same.
- How disrespecting our own healthy boundaries leads to a feeling of inner disappointment and self-betrayal?
- The definition of boundaries.
- What is the cost of not following through with your boundaries?
- It is less about creating permission and agreement between you and the person you are setting the boundary with and more about communicating what is and is not okay for you. Your boundaries are reflective of your beliefs, your values, and your perspectives.
- Boundary setting is a skill that can change over time depending on our life circumstances.
- When you are having a conversation about your boundaries, you must be willing to engage in the whole conversation. Don’t leave anything lingering.
- 5 quick tips on boundary setting:
- When something is off, or you find yourself constantly annoyed or irritated or anxious or resentful of a relationship or situation, pause and ask yourself, “what am I feeling?” “What boundary has been crossed in this situation?”
- It’s up to you to determine what needs to change. It may be helpful to journal this.
- When communicating: Be clear and direct and avoid over-explaining.
- You aren’t looking for the other person to understand as much as you’re looking for agreement. Boundaries are personal and they reflect you. Other people don’t need to feel like the boundary is warranted.
- Focus on yourself when you are communicating the boundary. I feel and I need is more neutral language than sentences that use “you.” “When you ____” etc.
Bonus: Have the entire conversation. Communicate clearly and fully and don’t leave anything unaddressed. Chances are you know when something has been left on the table. Have the courage to see the conversation through to the end.
- “Our incessant desire to say yes to other people at the chronic expense of ourselves is the very definition of self-betrayal.”
- “I hope that you see how so much of what we desire in life is on the other side of standing in the power of who you are.”
- “Boundary setting may not be easy, but it is a skill. And it is worth developing.”
- “I have to adjust my openness accordingly because it’s simply not sustainable to live out of alignment with my boundaries.”
- “As much as we may not see boundary setting as a journey back to self, it most definitely is.”
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