FACT 👉 These last 2-3 years I’ve struggled with some painful realities in life (the details of which are not all mine to disclose).
But suffice to say, it’s been hard. And what’s relevant here is that I felt like a victim in my life.
Asking “Why Is This Happening to Me?”
Why is this happening to me/us was the predominant question.
The question never offered any insight.
It felt like I was experiencing some sort of karmic punishment.
What Is My Life Trying to Teach Me?
What I learned is that my life was never punishing me. It was inviting me into a deeper realization.
👉👉 What is my life asking of me?
👉👉 What is my life inviting me into?
And truthfully, I couldn’t see that for awhile. For a very long while.
Maybe you’ve been there too.
Why You Can’t Bypass Grief and Pain
I couldn’t bypass all the feelings of despair, frustration, anger and grieving with a really poignant journal prompt.
That would be ridiculous …
FACT 👉 I had to BE in the depths of it in order for me to glimpse what my life was asking of me.
What My Life Was Asking of Me
My life was asking me to:
#1. Re-examine my identity.
#2. See where I was trying to control outcomes – even when my intentions felt pure.
#3 Surrender, let go, accept 🤢
Why Surrender and Letting Go Feel So Hard
If you’re like me you may roll your eyes every time you hear the the word surrender.
No matter how much I contemplated acceptance and surrendering, I just couldn’t do it for the things that touched my heart at its core.
Letting go when my heart wanted to hold on tighter seemed like the most irresponsible thing to do and everything in my DNA screamed no.
Recognizing Victim Mentality
I was mad and frustrated that other people got to live life free of the pain I was experiencing [victimhood].
And I couldn’t see how we “deserved” the path we were forced upon [victimhood].
Finding the Gift in Suffering
I have grace and compassion for myself.
And I can now see and feel into what is beyond my suffering.
That’s the gift.
Do I wish things had been different? Fuck yes. Can I accept that it needed to be this way? Mostly yes. Can I receive the gift in the most difficult experience I’ve ever lived? Also mostly yes.
What I’m Learning About Acceptance
Here’s what I’m learning –
- You can’t fast forward that process.
- It’s specific to you. The gift will not be the same for anyone else involved [and yes, you can still hate what happened].
Exhale.
