I was so tired of me.

A lifetime worth of putting on the “I’m super capable, ambitious and independent” hat … or shall I say apron. Cause lets face it, I wore both — a doc, entrepreneur, wife, mom, sister and friend. Juggling all of the things, all of the time.

Yes, my husband helped (and yes we say that still – even in 2021). He also travelled for his work and well, “we” figured it out. That’s what you do in relationships. You figure it out. 

My life was full of heaps of incredibleness … accolades and milestones and friendships and money and all the underpinnings of success.

I wore my patriarchal hat with pride, turning down my feminine self and shining with my GSD winning attitude.

I’m not complaining.

I felt like a female with lady balls. A strong woman who was wholeheartedly embracing the masculine energy of her upbringing at the expense of her feminine.

There I said it.

Less going with the flow and more pushing + pressing.

Less creative energy and endless structured outcomes.

Less attunement to my deep feminine wisdom and more brain + strategy.

I couldn’t ask for help – unless I paid them. I hid my struggles. I was doing ‘better’ than most of the women I knew and didn’t want to appear ungrateful.

I isolated myself – from myself – by being in a relationship with the man-hat of my success.

I’m not man-bashing. It actually has nothing to do with men and everything to do with me.

And when I finally let myself feel my desire to know ME at the core of my being, I couldn’t un-hear what I heard and unwant what was possible.

And that’s where it starts…

Years later and many moons of learning to be in flow with my life, my spirituality, my deep feminine wisdom and winsome needs, it feels like coming home.

And we need to stop feeling guilty for wanting this feeling.

We need to stop perpetuating the lie that women are okay with this outdated way of being.

We aren’t men.

We are women.

It’s our fucking superpower and it’s time we start talking about it, stepping into it and owning the hell out of it.

If you would like to tap into this experience on your own, here’s how you can connect with this all-knowing, glowing future self of yours.

Sit back and relax.

Feel into your heart, chest and belly and breathe deeply. Ask yourself, “what does my future self and life look like? On this amazing day in the future, what am I doing? What am I looking at? Who am I surrounding myself with? How am I feeling and who am I being?” Let go of the need to know how you got to this place and instead, get excited about what’s ahead. It should excite you. If it doesn’t, dig in deeper.

Bathe in the energy of this space.

Memorize the feeling and put words to how you feel and how you are being as this future version of you. This information is not only from you – but for you.

Lastly, ask your future self to write your current now-self a note.

What guidance is she giving your current you? What is her sage advice? What does she want you to know?  [And to avoid getting all ‘in-the-head’ on me, allow yourself to channel this knowing by setting a timer for 300 seconds and commit to keeping your pen to paper in a full-out free write]. No editing. No justifying.

Your future self is not as far away as you think.