I’ve asked this question enough times in my programs, coaching or retreats to know our typical answers. The 1st response is usually the four-letter word: 𝔽-𝔼-𝔸-ℝ
We fear being challenged. We fear looking foolish, being unaccepted – or worse, rejected. We can even fear the ultimate loss – being abandoned or unlovable. On the other end of the spectrum, we can also fear success (ya, this happens too).
You can see why I spend a fair bit of time in my programs breaking this down… it’s important. And, it shows up all over the place in conscious and unconscious ways. #human
Here’s an exercise I’d like to leave you with to consider and practice. Don’t try and leave fear behind. Think of fear as something you strive to work WITH. It probably won’t go away, but the practice of leaning into it and getting to the heart of what you’re actually worried about is helpful.
If there’s a truth you stop yourself from speaking aloud (even to yourself), write all the things that are standing in the way. “I fear __. I fear __. I fear __.“
Then ask: What would I do if each of my fears came true? Answer with pen to paper. Then ask yourself, “And then what?”
Tell yourself the truth of it. What is the likelihood of this fear coming true AND what level of control do you have over it?
If you have total control then create some empowering strategies to help mitigate the fear. If you don’t, remind yourself of this truth whenever it pops up and spend less time fixating on it.
Easy? Probably not, but the process of leaning into FEAR is powerful and empowering and if you are needing and wanting further support and strategy around this, I invite you to join ROOTS – 10 week program + Sisterhood for Women. Registration is open for the next 5 days. You can access it https://soulinspiredgurl.mykajabi.com/roots-invitation-page.
In our society, compassion for others is celebrated while the need for self-compassion is minimized. Here’s why I think of it as our soft place to land.